"Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

When I was young, my mom did the same kinds of things to me. She would invade my privacy pretty consistently or undermine me when I told her I was sick, and then would cry and demand that I tell her things when she found out I wasn’t opening up to her. It’s strange to me how people try to teach children consequences without understanding how they work. 

(via hellohum)

verticalfood:

Raspberry Almond Scones (by Creme de la Crumb)

verticalfood:

Raspberry Almond Scones (by Creme de la Crumb)

(via tacos-night)

lovin’ those silver lips

(Source: quick-cashing, via rodentriot)

floatinggoathead:

pizzaperty:

unfrickable:

floatinggoathead:

girlchameleon:

i will puke on every “sex positive (:” feminist always

I’ve never understood these things, what’s wrong with someone being positive towards an act that makes two people happy and negatively affects nobody??

*pukes on u*

please, tell me how two people wanting to have fun by rubbing their genitals on eachother promotes rape.

oh my god you disgusting piece of shit, this is exactly what we’re talking about. evidently sex is SO GOOD FOR EVERYBODY NO MATTER WHAT, that it’s okay to go to a stranger’s blog and talk to them in explicit detail about sexual interactions, AGAINST THEIR WILL, WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. 

what is sex without consent?

don’t answer. it’s a rhetorical question. nobody wants to talk to you. 

(Source: gam-ora, via rodentriot)

natural-magics:

It’s been over a year since my last giveaway, so I think it’s about time for me to host another :) Click the images for a larger view.

Contents:

  • Silver crescent moon necklace with an amethyst crystal briolette
  • Blue flash labradorite pendant, handmade by me (chain included)
  • Rose quartz heart
  • Midnight goldstone star
  • Raw celestite crystal
  • Raw green calcite
  • Tumbled amethyst
  • Tumbled moonstone
  • One antique key from this lot: (see photo)
  • Corked glass bottle containing mixed gems (amethyst, carnelian, red garnet, sodalite, and quartz)

Rules and Qualification:

  • Reblog this post to enter the giveaway, that’s it!
  • Likes do not count, though it’s fine to like this to bookmark the post.
  • Please be courteous — don’t spam reblog. This will disqualify you.
  • Deleting or altering the text of this post will disqualify you.
  • You must be at least 18 years old to enter, as per tumblr guidlines.
  • Your ask box must be open for me to contact you, if you win.
  • You must be willing to give me a shipping address to send the prizes.
  • The winner must respond within 48 hours or another winner shall be chosen.
  • So I know that you’ve read these rules clearly, tag this post with “magicbunnies” when you reblog it. 
  • You don’t have to follow me, though it’s appreciated if you like my blog!

Other Info:

  • This giveaway ends on Friday August 22nd, 2014 at 11 pm EST.
  • The winner will be chosen at random with random.org for fairness — I will keep very close track of the notes.
  • The worth of this giveaway is about $55 USD.
  • I will pay for shipping expenses, including international shipping.
  • It’s okay to reblog this post more than once, but like I said, please don’t spam.
  • I’ll likely be including some surprise goodies as ideas come to me.
  • All of the crystals featured are natural and untreated, besides the sparkly goldstone.
  • Do you like the jewelry featured? You can view more of my work at my shop.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Good luck and take care!

musicforyourplants:

An artificial leaf that’s capable of producing oxygen

musicforyourplants:

An artificial leaf that’s capable of producing oxygen

(via unfrickable)

unfrickable:

floatinggoathead:

girlchameleon:

i will puke on every “sex positive (:” feminist always

I’ve never understood these things, what’s wrong with someone being positive towards an act that makes two people happy and negatively affects nobody??

*pukes on u*

maybe because sex ISN’T positive for everybody but sex positivity ideology insists that it is, and therefore is an important tool for the maintenance of rape culture? 

i’ve never understood why people have to ask questions for which the answers would be readily apparent, if they critically reflected for like maybe 2 seconds.

if only…

(via scientificillustration)

beastmouths:

selfiemon:

I love that Laverne Cox doesn’t get offended by many things

and instead tries to educate people instead

I think it’s so easy for anyone to get offended by ignorance

but if they know what they’re saying is offensive, then hopefully they’ll alter what they say in the future

she always maintains composure and doesn’t seem as though she blames the people themselves, but our society in general

this is why cis people love her because she is palatable

this is disgusting lol nobody has to express their anger in a particular way for it to be legitimate and nobody owes it to you to be kind when you’re being oppressive. people are personally responsible for their ignorance and bigotry, even if they live in an oppressive society, soooooo what the fuck are you even saying? 

(via sexnegative)